Online Addict

Without a computer, I would have died. But now with a computer, why do I still feel like I'm dying?

I think I'm fast becoming an online addict. Time simply whiz by when I'm online. And then before I know it, they day is gone, I've missed my lunch AND breakfast.

Now I see the perils of the WWW. It's addictive. It sucks your soul. It drains you of energy. It's a curse!

Then again, it could be up to me to change things for the better. Let's talk about time management. I believe I have atrocious time management skills. But how you gonna define GOOD time management skills then?

I suppose my way of doing things is more intuitive, rather than systematic. I'm not too sure if it's a good or bad thing. Because intuitive behaviour sometimes hinge on being impulsive too. And some people think that my way of doing things is incompetent. Well, it has been said that one of the habits of incompetent people is intuitive/impulsive behaviour.

Well, take that with a pinch of salt, eh. I definitely would not see myself as incompetent. Maybe I seek the easy way out many a time. Maybe I don't take things too seriously. Maybe I'm kinda inefficient. Maybe...

A hell lot of maybes. I hate it when I'm at this kind of dilemma. Trying to figure things out, yet there are like a gazillion things jumping into your face. Hairianto says it's yet another passing phase.

But seriously, how many of such phases are there? This game of life thing is getting really dreary. It's like constant internal battle. You say one thing, the mind says another, the heart still got cheek to chip it something, and it all becomes a mess. Tangled in a web of reason; the more you struggle, the more tangled you get.

F*** school.

Mmm!-ilo Ice-Cream

You all know how Milo is such a popular beverage. People like it hot AND cold. And we all kinda grow up drinking Milo. Well, maybe not you, but I sure did grow up having Milo for breakfast, though now I'd rather have jasmine green tea.

Then, as an ice-cream lover, I've never really seen Milo ice-cream in stores.

Hence, as a create-ive person, what I can't get, I CREATE.



You'll need:
1. Milo powder
2. Evaporated milk (Usually my mother just calls it Carnation milk 'cause it's got this red carnation on the label)

Okay, let's make ice-cream!

Directions:
1. Mix Milo powder with evaporated milk. Lotsa powder, less of milk.
2. Stir and mix well.
3. Achieve an even consistency. You're looking for the melted ice-cream look. If you're really dumb, buy some cheap ice-cream, let it melt. And your Milo and milk mixture should look and feel more or less the same.
4. Let mixture sit in freezer, stirring occasionally.
5. Agak the timing yourself, depending on amount of mixture.

Eh voila! Milo ice-cream! It tastes like heaven, seriously. Ice-cream lovers can't go wrong with this. For me, I like my ice-cream chunky, with like nuts and stuff. Probably mix in some roughly crushed nuts and it'll be even more perfect!

I find it a little too rich in taste though. I tried adding a little fresh milk to it, but it dilutes the mixture and comes out of the freezer hard as rock. Suggestions?

P.S. The photo damned hot, right?! Like out of a travel guide eh?

The Kitchen Window

Occasionally I look out of my kitchen window only to find an alluring view of pretty cloud formations.



Or there's always the colours of the setting sun, if you're not too into clouds. The blend of orange and blue at dusk is perfect! So romantic, even though it's always just me alone at the window sill.

I would say the nicest spot at home would be by the kitchen window. It's nice to look at the neighbourhood from an aerial perspective. And then just think about this and that, you know.

But most of the time I'm just enjoying the sight. It's very calming to just look at the clouds, passing vehicles and moving people.

Oh, and there are two trees just right in front that house a gazillion mynahs, which will flock in during dusk. It's really amazing how one tree can accommodate so many mynahs!

I remember when I first moved in, which was at least 10 years ago, the incessant chirping of trees full of mynahs during dawn and dusk was almost unbearable. But I just kinda got used to it. In fact, now I think that the chirping brings much life to the neighbourhood.

I also remember feeding pigeons from my twelfth storey kitchen window. You know, I just leave like a piece of bread or something and pigoens will just come and peck at it. It's actually quite gross to be so close to pigeons.

There was one rainy day when I came home from school or something, then I discovered a drenched pigeon perched on a bamboo pole in the kitchen! I was damned frantic at the time! A drenched pigeon leh! How disgusting is that?

It's also really fun to hurl things out of the kitchen window sometimes. See the object fall twelve storeys down. Very interesting what. I used to time how long it took for something to reach the ground.

I know, killer litter. But it's not like I hurl flower pots or anything. Simply for fun, I have thrown slices of bread, wedges of watermelon, and other soft fruits out of the window. Organic stuff only. They need to be degradable once they reach the grass patch on ground floor.

Furthermore, the cats, crows, pigeons and mynahs in the neighbourhood eats all the stuff that I throw out anyways. It's gratifying to see cats rushing out from below the block to check out whatever's landed on the grass patch.

And the watermelon! When I hear watermelon, I instantaneously think of mynahs. Don't mynahs love watermelons? So I'll usually take a couple of bites of my slice of watermelon and then hurl it into one of the trees. Tried and tested, the wedge of melon never reaches the grass patch, but gets stuck in the tree. All the better for the mynahs, don't you think?

Voila! The Kitchen Window.

Nice and Ornamental

Recently, got into the craze for ornamental design.

And perfect on timing, Hairianto asks me for a pair of shoes on which he'd like to see more brown-ness.

Give me ideas like that, and I'll start generating visuals in my head. Sometimes it's just impossible to put in on paper.

And that, I think is the biggest problem I might have in school. Sometimes I just cannot get anything out on paper for the lecturers to see.

A lecturer told me last semester, "You really have to sketch your ideas, we're not psychic, we cannot read your mind... Most of the time if there are no sketches the final output will be really bad."

My first lantern frame! I've been wanting to make one of these 3D star lamps for a long time. Used 30 over pieces of satay sticks and lotsa masking tape.

I referenced it from a craft book, which told to use willow sticks. So exotic- sounding.

But the satay sticks works perfectly well too. And very the local! =D

But I haven't the 'fairy lights' yet. Exotic right?! Seriously, what are fairy lights? I've no idea.

I'll probably just get a normal light bulb or something. Then I'll cover it up with rice paper and my star lamp will be complete.

The only thing is, it'll probably look too good for my home.

And a T-shirt I did for a friend. Really nice and ornamental.

I thoroughly enjoyed painting on the T-shirt with a fine brush.

And the colour! I cannot be more happy with the colour. It gives me the sense of achievement when I mix to get the perfect colour.

My colour perception is kinda instinctive and intuitive. Therefore sometimes I totally nail it and at times I just completely screw it up.

The Great Depression

Very unfortunately, I find myself very depressed again.

Today, I went to school for drawing class. It was very liberating. Nothing like a good drawing session to free up from the evils of the world.

It's really sad that the drawing class had to end. I felt so good during the two hours. Before class started, I was feeling a little off. But when I got down to drawing, all the bad emotions kinda just dissipated. I really liked that feeling. Then the drawing class ended and, very much on cue, the bad emotions came flooding back.

That's exactly how school makes me feel. It's not what I do there, but just simply the fact that I AM there. As I've said, school is a curse to me. I've tried to be good, but it's just so depressing whenever I try.

Working at the cinema, that's liberating for me too. It's a pity that I only get to work during the weekends. That's one great reason why I so look forward to weekends. Weekends are like the end of The Darkness. It's when I feel safe and secure. It's when I'm confident and strong.

Come Sunday night, things just appear bleak, knowing that The Darkness awaits the following day.

Just at this moment when I'm feeling hopeless, my iTunes shuffled to this song titled, 'Hope'.

"...I know it ain't easy, but that's okay, 'cos we're hopeful..."

Christina Aguilera Back to Basics Tour

Hairianto got the S$350 tix to watch his favourite singer live at the Indoor Stadium.

"...what you hear on CDs, is what you hear live, maybe even better!..."

"...pitch perfect the whole time...not a single off-key throughout..."

"...it's not enough...should have been longer..."

"We'll be following very closely to the book for the lessons,"

So says the Web Design lecturer.

In actuality, it's 'I' who follows closely to the book and not 'WE'.

The lecturer nagged constantly as though we were primary school kids, "You gotta buy the Dreamweaver book by week 6 because WE will be following very closely to the topics in the book,"

So fine, I got the Dreamweaver 8 textbook, partly because I like to buy books and partly 'cause they instructed to do so. All right, so I attend tutorial, hoping to learn new tricks from the lecturers on designing for the Web. Quite ethused, thinking that finally I was gonna learn something new.

Remember, 'WE' were going to follow closely to the topics in the textbook.

I still can remember the first Dreamweaver lesson around 4 weeks back. The lecturer gave a brief intro to the Dreamweaver interface. BY READING WHAT WAS IN THE TEXTBOOK. Consequently, she said, "Okay, so you'll read through chapters one to three on your own, and we'll go on to chapter four."

Wow, 'WE' sure were following REAL closely to the book. She followed on, "All right, so you go through the exercises in the book, any questions, feel free to ask,"

Yeah! 'WE' were having lotsa fun going through the exercises in the textbook! 'WE' were learning SO MUCH from one another!

On the lesson two weeks back, the lecturer instructed, "Be sure to go through chapters 8 and 9 ON YOUR OWN, as there'll be a Dreamweaver test when you come back from your break,"

Before that, we had totally skipped chapters 6 and 7. I know you're expecting me to say this, so I'm gonna say it: Damn right! 'WE' were definitely following CLOSELY to the topics in the textbook!

And it just doesn't help that one of the two lecturers IS A COMPLETE BITCH! I have no idea what's wrong with her, but the way she talks to students, it's as though she's damned unwilling to help. She always speaks in an accusing tone, like your always in the wrong. Sounds damned impatient too. She thinks she's all that. For this, I kinda shot dirty glances at her. I always give her the frown.

I think the way I'm sending my messages is quite effective because she never ever checks on me. She'll always just glance over and I'll just give the don't-you-dare-step-on-my-tail look. And she gets it! =D

So back to their bullshit on 'WE' following closely to the book. Whole load of bullshit lah! All the misleading statements that includes 'WE'. So far, it's never 'WE', only 'I'. It's a module for show only. Because seriously, everything can just be self-taught. With the textbook, with the software, with the Internet, I don't see why anyone can't teach themselves.

Perhaps the lecturers are well aware of these facts and try to make themselves feel better by saying the things they say. I mean, who can bear the thought of themselves being just items on display?

I shall stop here. Getting a little too offensive.

Or maybe not.

Freitag Mac Sleeve

Yesterday, I dropped by Actually... at Seah Street and got my Freitag MacBook sleeve! Yay! Been eyeing it for God knows how long already. The sales guy asked me, "You're just getting it like that?" I was like, "Yeah, I've been thinking of getting it for a very long time.

I'm truly a Freitag fanatic. I just cannot get enough of it. But when I'm out, it's kinda freaky, because I'll have my Freitag backpack on, well, my back, my Freitag wallet in my right hand, and NOW, my Freitag laptop sleeve in my left. It gets a little too much sometimes.

Because Freitag bags are made from truck tarps, they tend to smell a little funny at first. Smell funny at first. Smells nice at second and after. I so totally dig the scent of a fresh Freitag product.

A Movie

Earlier on today, I watched 'Hot Fuzz'. It was a way too cool film misguided by a not too attractive poster.

Working at the cinema box office, I have come across many people who got turned off by the poster. The title didn't seem too much of a pull factor too. But anyways, I have to say that it's one great movie.

Of course, I went to see it alone. Own time, own target. Plus I could pay full attention to the movie. There weren't too many people in the cinema either, so I definitely enjoyed myself, thank you very much.

What's awesome about this film is first of all, the number of old people acting in it. My mother always says that the local TV and film industry don't give much exposure to actors once they're old; unlike the ang moh industries. Okay, that could be true to some extent. But back to 'Hot Fuzz'.

So there was numerous old folks in the movie, so what?

Well, old folks sitting around playing chess looking at the world go by, no big deal. But old folks lashing out pistols and shotguns?? BIG DEAL! I mean, how often do you see elderly people sparring in a firearm mayhem scene?

Okay, I guess I'll just leave it at that. That's ONE fabulous thing about the movie you know. If I continue, I'll just reveal the plot. You interested, you go watch it yourself lor.

A lecturer once told me, "You watch a movie the first time, you enjoy it. You watch it for the second time, you analyse it."

Somehow, I find myself analysing the movie while watching the first time. I suppose that's what NYP did to me. You know, they and their staunch belief in us "doing a course on COMMERCIAL design".

I can never mope enough about my education in NYP. Well, you be glad that I don't start.

Not in this entry, at least! =D

Image Entry

See, that I'm really proud of. My creation of a Freitag backpack using collage. Collage is definitely one of my favourite artistic expressions. It's so real, I have to sketch, source for scrap materials, cut and slice them up, and assemble into a final image. I prefer tangible means of artistic expression. I'm a little anti-computer.



We were bored one night after we got off from work.



They had this Shrek3 decoration competition of some sort going on anyway. We thought, this is a winning piece! (but of course we took the paper visor off after that!)

Comeback Kid

Guess who's back?

"Desperation drives a person to all resorts."

I guess that's why I'm back. In this time and day, life without a computer just won't do. It took me way to long to realise that. In school, I'm severely outdated, and damned behind syllabus. It doesn't help that the course is called 'DIGITAL MEDIA Design'. Digital media... That's why there is no way I could survive without a computer at home.

Hence I got a Macbook! Okay, my mother paid for it. It's my first significant step towards being more tech-savvy. A day after I got my Macbook, I signed up for Internet connection. Ta-dah! My first blog entry since forever!

The two-week school break ended last week. What sad news. For two weeks, I took school completely off my mind and went to work instead. It was a very fulfilling period of time. No deadlines, no presentations, no consultations.

But I know the horrible workload from school will come back to haunt me. That's one more piece of sad news. I'm feeling very strongly against school. Maybe it's their system, or maybe it's just me. Either way, I'm not liking things the way they are now.

Nevertheless, always take a step back and look at things on the whole. Much, much better. I guess sometimes, I let school get to my head too much that I forget all the good things around me. There are much better things to look forward to than school. It's when I ask myself, "What did I get myself into?"

Let's just be hopeful, and all will just pass. I just got to keep my focus, be enthused, and hopefully come up with exciting concepts.

And let's just stick to this minimalistic layout okay? I simply love minimalist design. Always looks clean and fresh.

I realised I'm kinda over the whole 'wacky' phase. I think it's all part of growing up. If I really have to go 'wacky', it's more like 'psychedelic' than 'wacky'. 'Wacky' sounds so novice and amateurish, which is so past me already.

I'm definitely coming up with a new look for my blog. But for now, let's just do with this one.

Abandoned for quite some time because I've come to realise that I'm not the tech-geek kinda person.

I do not just go online for fun also because I do not have Internet access from home. It's not necessarily a bad thing, you know. In fact, I kinda feel more real without the Internet. Less virtual, more real instead.

Plus, blogging is not a lifestyle anymore. Now, blogging is the same as airing out dirty laundry, not that I have any to speak of.

In fact, I have more clean laundry than you can imagine.

So if I were to air my clean and bright laundry out, don't you think it'll be an exceptional bad thing?

There are like gazillion others airing their dirty laundry. Dirty laundry drips. Drips cause stains.

Why would I want my clean laundry to be stained?

I have such a good time everytime I'm out with my pals. Just the other day, we watched a movie and had a fabulous dinner at Ricetable at Suntec.

They probably enjoyed themselves more because I picked up the tab for dinner. I just had to do that because I was celebrating. Celebrating my promotion. Haha!... That's all I'm saying.

And then like out of nowhere, Kalis whips out a Nokia N70. I didn't notice it at first, until both Kalis and Hairianto had their N70s out. Duh! Soon they were engaging in small talk regarding their dearest 3G phones, while I just sat and watched.

Hairianto suggested that I get one myself too, so that we'll all have the same phone. But no! I have my Freitag bag dream to fulfill first. Hence, I proposed a more viable alternative. Instead of having the same phones, why not we all enrol in NTU together?

To me, it's a brilliant idea. But a certain of us thinks it's 'oh-so kiddy'.

Yesterday morning, I had to chuck away my Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers because, believe it or not, they were INFESTED WITH ANTS!

I shudder at the thought of it. I was completely shocked outta my socks! And it hurts that I have to throw them out because it was really beyond hope.

It's no wonder that I detest ants.

The library's closing.

So is this post.

Three weeks of studio project. One and a half weeks more to go. During this time, we, as students, are to work independently, and we're not supposed to be 'hoarding' our lecturers.

I love how they use 'hoarding'. Very strong and dramatic. To a certain extent, humorous too.

Anyways, for the first two weeks, there are 4 review sessions with an assigned lecturer. They stressed that 'attendance for you review sessions will affect your final grade'.

To date I have missed two. The first one, I simply didn't show up. But the second review session, I turned up, okay? Despite looking like hell 'cos of a terrible case of Mowed-hawk. So, I waited, and waited. The schedule for the first student was 3pm. Mine was 4pm. Time: 3.45pm The first guy still hadn't seen the lecturer. Duh, I left. Senseless for me to waste my time there.

If every review session was going to waste our time like that, then I understand very well why they state so strongly that 'your attendance for you review sessions will affect your final grade'. Hence, wouldn't it be better for me to not turn up for these reviews? I could be spending time doing my project instead. Which will lead me to a better grade.

But that's just all talk.

I'm not 'working hard' for this project because it's boring. I constantly find myself bored and uninspired by their assignments. Is it just me or what?

A while back, I saw an interview with a Malaysian fashion designer on TV. She had said that back when she was in fashion school, her lecturer would tell the students that they should be taking their assignments as presents.

How I wish I could hear this from my lecturers. I'm seriously bored stiff at school. I wished they were more, well, arty-farty.

I find 'arty-farty' a rather disturbing word that hinges on discrimination for the arts. But well, it seems to be the word for describing what I'd prefer.

I had met up with my cousin recently. She started semester at NTU's Art Design Media course and was telling me all about it. Arty-farty indeed. Sounds like much fun too. A million lightyears from what I'm doing.

My studio project asks, "Boat Quay- create an interesting composition of the place; most importantly it must convey a messsage."

At this point, I find myself very worn out from the semester. And now this. It's just not that exciting, you know.

Furthermore, for some reason, I lost my oomph for drawing. For weeks straight, it's just drawing of buildings, architecture, interiors. I'm dead bored. It's perspective drawing over and over again. Down at Boat Quay, it's shophouses after shophouses. I think, "Wow, it's amazing how far the place have developed since Raffles first came. BUT DO I REALLY HAVE TO DRAW ALL THESE SHIT?"

And please forgive me, but I just CANNOT STOP HARPING ON THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING GOES DIGITAL! I"M A BLOODY ILLITERATE, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!!

In this aspect, I feel disadvantaged. It is not a good feeling.

Let's hear about things that get me excited then.

I have colleagues asking me to design T-shirts and shoes for them. Now, that is interesting. That is fulfilling. That is inspiring. To create wearable art. To produce mobile art. Something that makes sense to me. Something with a purpose.

But there's this funny thing. I find myself turning to Photoshop for help. I'm really not too if this digital intervention is good or bad. I could perhaps make it work for me.

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The randomest things hit me some times.

I was working Saturday night. Then I see all these Bengs and Lians. Then I thought, "What did one Beng say to another Beng?"

"LET'S GO CHIONG AR!! LIM-PEH HANDS DYING FOR A DANCE," (techno music plays..)

It's not meant to offend. I have issues with techno music IN THE PAST. I'm just using this past discrimination in a humorous way. I also have issues with HANDS dancing to techno music. Okay, this is pure bias, but in a HUMOROUS WAY.

Then recently, the ants at home became a tad bigger and faster. I used to be able to squash them on first attempt. But now, I take up to five attempts to do so. I also used to not be able to feel the squashed ant. But now, I can feel the bursting of the ants, releasing their bodily fluids(slightly exaggerated).

So I hate ants. And I wondered, "If I dropped an ant from 12 storeys, will it die?"

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I bet you'd love to know about the Mowed-hawk issue.

(Mowed-hawk means mowed down Mohawk.)

Okay, so one morning, I felt that I shouldn't be wasting so much money on my hair-cut since it's essentially just shaving the sides and all. So I went to a barber.

*buzzer sirens off* WRONG MOVE!

The barber gave me a terrible shave, especially at the back. I got a slope! A SLOPE!! NOBODY GETS A SLOPE ANYMORE!!!

I hid my bad hair under my 'SUPERSTAR' cap. Later which, I went to the professionals.

Thank goodness there wasn't a lot of people to see my bad cut. I took off my cap and told my hair-cutter, "Hi, I need help. Just clean up the mess."

There was this other guy in the shop too, who saw my hair. I swear I could've blown his head off for just witnessing my horrible cut. When I was done, he was still getting a colour job, and he told me that it looked way better than when I just came in.

Anyways, the hair-cutter did her best. She had to even out everything, so it just went short short SHORT! I'm left with almost nothing on the back of my head.

Goodbye Mohawk. Hello to Mowed-hawk.

Meanwhile, we wait for Mohawk to return.

The lesson learnt: Never be cheapo!

On the same day, I realised that I got bored with caps. Bad hair days could call for something more interesting. Interesting like.... umm... Bandanas??

Hence I got a bandana lor.

Cool okay. In white adorned with the Chinese character 'fu'. So auspicious, right?

On Sunday, I came home only to find nothing on TV but the National Day Rally. I almost went berserk. But decided to hear the chap out. At some points, I thought he made so much sense. But for some of it, it just went, "Yadda yadda yadda yadda..."

Haha!... Remember not to lose your sense of humour.

If you think all's well again, think again.

As usual, school's looking bleak to me. Last night, I had a nervous break down. I felt so lost, so desperate.

I don't understand why I'm even doing some of my assignments. Digital colouring is defnitely my death acu-point. In fact, most things digital scare the hell outta me. I deem myself to be pretty screwed up at school.

I'm made to colour and colour and colour DIGITALLY. Not as if I'm particularly talented in this aspect. I feel so bad for myself sometimes. I don't even know how to use Photoshop for goodness' sake!

However, a lecturer had said that not knowing your tools well is still fine as long as your design skills are strong. It was indeed something comforting to hear.

But still!! For other modules, they're all bent on making me use Photoshop.

And this lecturer named Gwen still had the fucking audacity to say, "You dunno Photoshop, you go find out yourself," during a project briefing.

So I think, "Then why the hell do I bother enrolling myself in an institution? I can always 'find out for myself'!"

I'm so pissed that I'm growing more desperate each day.

Instead of exams, there is a studio project which will more of less decide my fate after this semester. Happens over the next 3 weeks.

However, I, clairvoyant or something, can kinda foretell my fate. Okay lah, seriously, it doesn't take a clairvoyant to tell my fate. Because stated in the project guidelines, "The final artwork is an A3 DIGITALLY illustrated and coloured piece."

So what do you think will happen to me?

And you thought fortune-telling wasn't your thing?!

I'm just un-motivated, un-inspired and un-involved.

Despite all the circumstances, I find time to cultivate my interest.

DUH! I buy shoes and paint on them lah!

Graphic books are damned inspiring. But I have to say that this time round, my design is kinda adapted, but I still made it original in the end.

The best thing is, this new pair of shoes features my best pals, Kalis and Hairianto. Maybe not 100% resemblance, but it's important that you know that I tried my best.

It's not easy, but this week's been just bad. Then suddenly, it's almost the end of semester 1.

I feel disconnected. Like there's something in between that's missing.

I was just saying hi to a lecturer, and he asked me, "How's everything so far?"

I replied, "Like that lor,"

"What's like that?"

Then it just hit me from nowhere!

I told the lecturer, "Un-inspiring."

And he assured me the next semester will be better.

That little assurance was the best thing that happened to me.

Anyways, back to 'un-inspiring'.

There is no better word to describe my current status. I feel unmotivated, uninspired and uninvolved. The only reason I'm completing my assignments is so that I can submit them in. Everything seems to be plunging downhill.

Of course I feel like crap! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING!

In moments like this, I find it damned tough to feel positive.

When my school work started to interfere with my sleep pattern, I knew that things were not good. And the worst thing would be school work invading my dreams.

And it did happen!

If dreams and work collide, it is the worst sign of all. I cannot clear my head. I'm constantly fretting over my work. The more I fret, the more discouraged I get.

I'm probably very discouraged now. All I want to do is sigh. Plus I'd love to forget everything and start afresh. But obviously, I can't.

NYP is just another typical college, on a very serious note. Sadly, I'm not the typical college type of student. It's not even arty-farty enough for me.

They always tell us, '3D Animation is going to fetch money. 2D graphics will get you nowhere.'

How encouraging!!! Considering the fact that I'm more into graphic design.

MONEY MONEY MONEY. Why is it always all about the money?

The freaking lecturers love playing the 'Client game' too. They love to defend themselves by saying, "Imagine if I was your client.... blah blah.."

I would just think, "Excuse me, but we're in a school now? Reality check?"

The reason I only think and not voice out is because they will only rebut me. After which, I'd have nothing to say. It's a losing case right from the start.

And I cannot believe it's stereotypical and rigid around here. I feel like I'm being strangled. My creative juices have stopped flowing altogether. NYP, tragically, is an inhibitor instead of a catalyst.

The lecturers are uninspiring, to say the least. On my very first day, I met my first inspiring lecturer. And then I thought that most of the lecturers would be like that too. That was wishful thinking on my part. Truth is, I find the lecturers boring, rigid and well, UNINSPIRING.

But I'd like to say that I'm feeling exceptionally aggressive because this week sees multiple deadlines. All of which I'll be submitting crappy work.

I have kinda lost my focus. Losing steam also. I think by now, I have also lost all steam.

HOW CAN IT BE SO DEPRESSING?!?!

I definitely belong to an art academy.

NYP is brutally strangling me.

I will definitely pursue design at an art academy.

NYP is.... well, it just isn't that ideal.

But I'm doing okay.

It's just that the situation at NYP isn't exactly what I was expecting. Strangely, I'm a little disappointed.

They do some things that make me go, 'HUH?!' in bewilderment.

Today I had my first presentation in formal attire.

Probably started as a bad day. I was so out of sorts in a shirt and business pants. Plus the weather was so unforgiving. It was hot like anything.

The presentation topic was indeed stupid. "Promote yourself as THE best friend"

And because retro and vintage is the IN thing now, we were using an ancient overhead projector and transparencies for our visual aids. Luckily I was wearing this black shirt with auburn stripes. Totally look the part, quite vintage.

I mean hello?! A visualiser at least right? OHP?!?!

Talking about retro...

Kalis, Hairianto and I were strutting down Orchard Rd. Hairianto sees someone he knows. That someone comes up to Hairianto and says, "...you look so 1960's!!.." or something.

And then for a moment we all had our eyebrows cocked, thinking, "What the hell?!"

How in the world is a brown shirt with thin white stripes and jeans '1960s'??

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A certain tabloid-sized news publication had its headlines slamming Carol Cheong on her evening gown during the Miss Universe pageant, saying "Would you be caught dead in this?"

I thought it was quite nice what.

Anyways, she had this smokey eye make-up that is just so wrong. It looks damned out of place on Asian eyes. Makes her look like panda. A very good example would be a certain Indonesian-Chinese socialite working for the tourism board. She looks odd with the smokey eye thing too.

I don't think I'm destined to get a decent MP3 player. I've got a new one, but it's just a free gift my mother got. And freaking 256MB. I mean, who even talks about MB anymore???

On Sunday, right before I could order my double flavour of Venezia gelato, I received a call.

Caller: Hi, I'm calling from X&X, our company have positions in the sales and marketing dept. The interview is on Monday or Tuesday, at either 2pm or 5pm.

Me: Sorry, but I don't think I'm interested 'cos I already have a job.

Caller: Why don't you just come down and give it a try? I believe our company can provide you with more benefits than your current one. Furthermore, you are one of the shortlisted people. There's only around 50 people for this interview.

Me: Okay then.

Monday afternoon, I was down at their office for the interview.

Business Manager: ...we're dealing with nanotechnology. Have you heard of nanotechnology?...

I knew from then that I will not be interested. But they just went on with an orientation programme! Can you believe it?!

So I remained patient and went through their lecture on human body and human health. I got a way-too-good-to-be-true speech on how the company's calcium ions-energized water can cure cancers and ailments. Got a taste of their calcium ion-energized water.

Preacher: So how's the taste? Fishy?

Me: (winced) Yeah, fishy and metallic.

The preachers (yes, more than one brainwasher around) then whipped out a chart that showed what different tastes means.

Apparently, since their magic potion tastes fishy to me, I have weak liver and kidneys. They can still blatantly tell me that I'm not really that healthy. And for some brainwashed reason, they have 100% faith in their magic potion.

And the science they were lecturing me on became very doubtful on many many counts. They were hydrolysing tap water and their magic potion by running electricity through. Just to prove that the water molecules in their magic potion was smaller. Their fucking magic potion was filled with calcium ions. Of course you can conduct electricity through that!

But I was being very patient and kind. Why spoil the freak show when I can continue listening to their tall tales and silly theories??? It's nice to see people make a fool of themselves and still proud of it.

Back into the manager's office.

Business Manager: -Crash Course on Business and Marketing-

She's 21, still an NTU student. She's the youngest female car achiever in the company. Impressive right?? Not if she was brainwashing you!

She enticed me with money.

Biz Manager: ...you can look at pay range around 4 to 5K. Let's say during exams period, you can still look at income range of at least 1K.

Took out a laminated pay cheque of 5K to show me.

So?

She assured me that I will earn enough to start a business on my own after I finish my studies. She said that I will get to expand my 'contact base', hence opening more doors of opportunities. Because I said that I was more interested in doing design, she told me that 'who knows you might come across people from the media and design industry?'.

And if I don't?

She was very good at downplaying all my ideals.

She told me that 'the design industry is very saturated; how long must you work under somebody to chalk up enough money to start out on your own?'

Luckily I stopped her short by telling her that I'm not in for just the money.

They're looking for money-faced and stupid teens (I'm of neither ilk.), although they claim that they are 'training up a team of young entrepreneurs'.

On one count, the Biz Manager was telling me: Seriously, how much can you earn from a part-time job? 5, 7, 8 dollars an hour??

I went: $3.90! (very matter-of-factly and half-glared at her)

The money-faced bitch was so getting on my nerves. Quite pissed with her, actually.

In the end, they still got rejected by me. Ha! get that in their bloody faces. I stood strong and firm in saying 'No'. Said 'No' to that bitch for at least 4 times.

I'm a tough nut to crack. If money came by so easily, why the hell are people slogging their guts out?

When I bade the long-awaited goodbye to them, they didn't even offer to show me out! So I gave them another chance by asking, "So, anything else??"

And then they just freaking shook their heads...

How professional... Rich but unrefined. BITCHES!!!!!

However, I bet they were cursing their hearts out that I didn't agree to working with them. I probably made them lose some money. Isn't it silly how you can earn money just by introducing someone into the company?

Anyways, to the style department.

I cannot believe I witnessed ah bengs wannabes clad in neatly pressed French cuff shirts with dashing cufflinks and well-fitted business pants accompanied by matching belt and shoes!!!

What the freaking hell?!?!

These yuppie cum ah bengs wannabes work at that company!! Gives me more reason to decline the generous job offer.

These wannabes really DO earn that much to be able to afford such clothes. Too bad they don't spend on proper grooming. They look exceptionally classy from neck to toe. That leaves out anything from the neck up, which refers to the hideous looks and horrendous hair.

If you're sizing one of these wannabes up, you'd probably want to start from his toes and up, stopping short at his collar. But if you really really really have to satisfy your curiosity, fine, you can go ahead and size up the head too.

You'd probably be wheeled into Accident & Emergency foaming at the mouth.

And don't say I didn't warn you.

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Today, I was walking towards Yio Chu Kang MRT station and there's this huge girl in front of me dressed in a cheap miniskirt in tiny floral prints. It was a sight to behold. She also had knee-high tight socks on. The mouth of the socks were tightly wedged into her flesh. It was a sight to behold. So, between the end of the skirt and the socks, I saw a generous amount of skin. It was a sight to behold.

Try as I might, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

It was truly a sight to behold.

I know, it's been nearly 4 weeks.

That's how long I haven't been blogging. That's still pretty acceptable.

But you know what? That's how long I haven't been ONLINE too.

I don't know how it happened, but I just sudden;y got really really turned off by computers and the Internet.

So I just totally withdrew from touching any of these dreadful machines.

And now I'm back.

A week ago, I went book shopping.

Yes, books. Me and books. Very strange, right? But most definitely true.

My affinity with books became apparent when I decided to abandon the machine.

I like my books to have exciting visuals. I love instruction books. I love graphic books.

Just that novels are not my kinda thing..

Anyways, I spent a whooping sum on three books.

One graphic book, one designer book on vintage denim, and one on Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

I bought my designer book at "Actually...". YES!!! FINALLY!!!

Obviously, it had a designer price tag to it too.

Anyways, I'm so damned ecstatic that I'm now included in Actually...'s exclusive clientele.

Then I was kinda labelled 'brand-whore'. Which is not particularly true but I kinda have to agree that it's true to some extent when I think back.

I get excited when brands are exclusive. I love designer stuff. Designer stuff that are one of a kind.

Therefore, Ed Hardy has lost it's charm. Guess? is not that impressive after all.

But Actually..., that's a whole new different thing.

You should at least check it out, can? It's along Seah Street, opposite of Raffles Hotel Shopping Arcade.

On Monday, I kissed "Best Customer Service" goodbye when I freaking screamed at a customer. This fucking disgusting female yuppie was making a very big fuss. She was very accusing in her tone too. And I wasn't going to be all nice and goody to her. She truly gave me shit and so I gave her shit too.

Before she left the cinema, she even gave me a 3-minute crash course on 'Customer Service 101', but not before telling me, "I'm actually a very nice person."

You bet I wasn't listening to her at all.

The climax of the whole incident:

I was making many sarcastic remarks and publicising my displeasure for the fucking yuppie.

Yuppie looked at me, said, "You say that again?!"

I gave the "I-despise-you" look and rolled my eyes in the meanest way. It was so damned mean that it was beyond your imagination.

Yuppie, all fuming, asked, "What's your name?!?!"

I stood up, hollered my name, shoved my name tag out, and arrogantly spelt out my name.

Yuppie was so mad, she walked off saying, "I know how to spell very well, thank you very much. I don't need a spelling lesson."

Throughout, I was seething with anger, though.

But I'm glad I stood up to her. She was probably making false claims right from the start anyway.

For me to go ballistic takes a damned lot of shit. Therefore, you can safely conclude that the fucking Yuppie was brimming with shit.

Bah!

You've always longed for something, but when you've got that something, you seriously wonder if you really need it. Worse, you wonder if you're really happy with that something in your life.

Sucks right?

That's why I pity you.

Hahahahahaha!...

I finally have the power to manipulate digital photos, but what the hell?! I am having trouble posting my photos up. It's so irritating...

Anyways, I went to Sentosa yesterday and it freaking RAINED BIG CATS AND HUGE DOGS!

When you want the sun, rain, in every way possible, is not good.

But because we're supposed to make the best of situations, we continued playing in the heavy rain. Kinda cool, but it dampened my mood totally.

Last Saturday, I was walking from Bugis to Suntec. I was snapping shots of the DHL Balloon, buildings, etc.. There was barely any passers-by.

Suddenly, some idiot called me while I was very absorbed with getting a nice shot.

Idiot said, "Why are you touring Singapore and taking photos of everything??"

I thought to myself, "What the HELL??!!"

Okay, Idiot's not idiotic. Cos Idiot is actually Kalis.

Then on Friday, I decided at the very last minute to catch a movie. A FREE movie at that.

So I left Eng Wah Suntec and POOF! Out came this sale!

Caserini had a sale, with atrocious discounts. So I was eyeing all the nice-coloured shirts and felt very inspired.

And to my dismay, it had been the final day of the sale. So I decided to pounce on the opportunity and go 4 shirts @ S$29.90 each.

The bargain hunter hunts down the best deals in town.

After that, I went to Art Friend at Bras Basah Complex. I got light green bling-bling that SO matches the green stripy shirts that I got.

Hahahaha!..

Then I kinda spent some time at the NLB, reading about silk-screening and lithography, at the same time enjoying the cool air.

After that, I met Hairianto and his Jewish-Muslim (exotic right?) friend briefly.

We were shopping at Bugis Street.

Strangely, Bugis Street does not appeal to the bargain hunter despite the bargains because the bargain hunter despises fakes and does not scrimp on quality.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Ed Hardy caps selling at Bugis Street. To me, these fakes should be on sale at S$10.90. But NO! Those people were shamelessly selling FAKE ED HARDY CAPS at S$55.90!!! The most F-ed up thing was, THERE WASN'T ANY BLING-BLING ON THE CAP!

F*** these vendors!

In the same shop, I had to tolerate the munjen salesgirl's stupidity:

I saw a belt with a nice buckle. I asked if the buckle can be taken out and substituted with another. But apparently, the buckle seemed to be fixed. The f***ingly stupid munjen told me, "Orh, you just remove the screw lor,"

And spoil the freaking belt?! Screw her lah! After which I'll definitely "remove the screw lor,"

Sheesh.

Then we were at 'Give me back my SUNDAY', some local T-shirt brand.

Because the auntie saw the nice shoes that Hairianto was wearing, Hairianto got into an excited frenzy. I was also quite excited because I hand-painted those self-designed shoes myself.

Then the auntie told me, "You design stuff? How bout I get your number? Then you can consider selling us your designs if you have any."

Apparently they're expanding into a certain shopping mall and wants a whole variety of designs that they can print on T-shirts. But the keyword is 'SELL' my design. SELL=MONEY.

Nice opportunity eh?

And it's all BECAUSE OF HAIRIANTO who chatted up with the nice auntie that this whole thing came along.

(I cannot believe I just said that.)

The PC Show at Suntec started yesterday.

I went to the PC Show at Suntec yesterday aternoon.

Damn, it was crowded. I have no idea where all the people came from. Thursday afternoon and crowded Suntec City don't fit well together.

Anyways, I was there hoping to find a digicam, which I didn't because it was just too crowded. Totally killed my interest. Furthermore, I had all my barang-barang. Very inconvenient.

What the heck! So I left and met Hairianto for his hair-cut at Far East Plaza.

Then we were walking towards Heeren...

And POOF! Out came this Olympus Roadshow. I took a brief look and left.

After leaving, there was this nagging feeling inside. So I decided to go back.

And guess what?!

Kaa-Chiing!! with a swipe of a card and I got myself a digicam.

I mean, I GOT A DIGICAM!!!!!!

I was practically gleaming with joy.

**************

When I was at Far East, I got a new buckle! Frankly, I'm a buckle-whore. Wahaha!...

My uber cool cassette tape buckle broke! Can you believe it?? The person said it was beyond repair.

What the hell.

So I got a new one instead. This time, it's not a cassette tape.

It's a cassette tape PLAYER.

Yup, how cool is that, right?

I wore it to school today and it caught the attention of quite a few. There was a point in time that they were talking about it, complimenting it, complimenting ME, praising it, praising ME...

You know, I get that a lot, so it was still pretty acceptable for me.

*smirk*

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*smug look*

Okay, that was enough.

But do you know what's the best thing that happened to me today?

My self-portrait, which I completed till late last night, was due today.

I was feeling all strong and mighty because I was very satisfied with the turn-out of my portrait. Orange hair! I was so excited about that! And it looks great!

So during tutorial, the lecturers decided to be really cruel in the grading. You know what they did?

They started giving out A grades first. So he sifted a few out to the front, told them to hold up their portraits and said, "These are the A grades, yadda yadda.." They continued doing that for the B's, and the C's, and can-you-believe-it?!, even the D's!

So obviously for the A-graders it was very gratifying. But when it came to the C's and D's, OH MY GOODNESS?! Have they lost their minds? It wasn't just puncturing the egos. They were practically slaughtering them!

The faces of those who got D, I can never forget. It's very freaky.

That's because I earned myself the BIGGEST, FATTEST and JUICIEST 'A' in class. I suppose my loud orange Mohawk very subtly swept the lecturers off their feet.

When they picked me out for the A grades, there were only 5 A-graders out of 40 FYI, my heart just went fluttering. I'm freaking proud of myself.