I don't think I'm destined to get a decent MP3 player. I've got a new one, but it's just a free gift my mother got. And freaking 256MB. I mean, who even talks about MB anymore???

On Sunday, right before I could order my double flavour of Venezia gelato, I received a call.

Caller: Hi, I'm calling from X&X, our company have positions in the sales and marketing dept. The interview is on Monday or Tuesday, at either 2pm or 5pm.

Me: Sorry, but I don't think I'm interested 'cos I already have a job.

Caller: Why don't you just come down and give it a try? I believe our company can provide you with more benefits than your current one. Furthermore, you are one of the shortlisted people. There's only around 50 people for this interview.

Me: Okay then.

Monday afternoon, I was down at their office for the interview.

Business Manager: ...we're dealing with nanotechnology. Have you heard of nanotechnology?...

I knew from then that I will not be interested. But they just went on with an orientation programme! Can you believe it?!

So I remained patient and went through their lecture on human body and human health. I got a way-too-good-to-be-true speech on how the company's calcium ions-energized water can cure cancers and ailments. Got a taste of their calcium ion-energized water.

Preacher: So how's the taste? Fishy?

Me: (winced) Yeah, fishy and metallic.

The preachers (yes, more than one brainwasher around) then whipped out a chart that showed what different tastes means.

Apparently, since their magic potion tastes fishy to me, I have weak liver and kidneys. They can still blatantly tell me that I'm not really that healthy. And for some brainwashed reason, they have 100% faith in their magic potion.

And the science they were lecturing me on became very doubtful on many many counts. They were hydrolysing tap water and their magic potion by running electricity through. Just to prove that the water molecules in their magic potion was smaller. Their fucking magic potion was filled with calcium ions. Of course you can conduct electricity through that!

But I was being very patient and kind. Why spoil the freak show when I can continue listening to their tall tales and silly theories??? It's nice to see people make a fool of themselves and still proud of it.

Back into the manager's office.

Business Manager: -Crash Course on Business and Marketing-

She's 21, still an NTU student. She's the youngest female car achiever in the company. Impressive right?? Not if she was brainwashing you!

She enticed me with money.

Biz Manager: ...you can look at pay range around 4 to 5K. Let's say during exams period, you can still look at income range of at least 1K.

Took out a laminated pay cheque of 5K to show me.

So?

She assured me that I will earn enough to start a business on my own after I finish my studies. She said that I will get to expand my 'contact base', hence opening more doors of opportunities. Because I said that I was more interested in doing design, she told me that 'who knows you might come across people from the media and design industry?'.

And if I don't?

She was very good at downplaying all my ideals.

She told me that 'the design industry is very saturated; how long must you work under somebody to chalk up enough money to start out on your own?'

Luckily I stopped her short by telling her that I'm not in for just the money.

They're looking for money-faced and stupid teens (I'm of neither ilk.), although they claim that they are 'training up a team of young entrepreneurs'.

On one count, the Biz Manager was telling me: Seriously, how much can you earn from a part-time job? 5, 7, 8 dollars an hour??

I went: $3.90! (very matter-of-factly and half-glared at her)

The money-faced bitch was so getting on my nerves. Quite pissed with her, actually.

In the end, they still got rejected by me. Ha! get that in their bloody faces. I stood strong and firm in saying 'No'. Said 'No' to that bitch for at least 4 times.

I'm a tough nut to crack. If money came by so easily, why the hell are people slogging their guts out?

When I bade the long-awaited goodbye to them, they didn't even offer to show me out! So I gave them another chance by asking, "So, anything else??"

And then they just freaking shook their heads...

How professional... Rich but unrefined. BITCHES!!!!!

However, I bet they were cursing their hearts out that I didn't agree to working with them. I probably made them lose some money. Isn't it silly how you can earn money just by introducing someone into the company?

Anyways, to the style department.

I cannot believe I witnessed ah bengs wannabes clad in neatly pressed French cuff shirts with dashing cufflinks and well-fitted business pants accompanied by matching belt and shoes!!!

What the freaking hell?!?!

These yuppie cum ah bengs wannabes work at that company!! Gives me more reason to decline the generous job offer.

These wannabes really DO earn that much to be able to afford such clothes. Too bad they don't spend on proper grooming. They look exceptionally classy from neck to toe. That leaves out anything from the neck up, which refers to the hideous looks and horrendous hair.

If you're sizing one of these wannabes up, you'd probably want to start from his toes and up, stopping short at his collar. But if you really really really have to satisfy your curiosity, fine, you can go ahead and size up the head too.

You'd probably be wheeled into Accident & Emergency foaming at the mouth.

And don't say I didn't warn you.

-----------------------

Today, I was walking towards Yio Chu Kang MRT station and there's this huge girl in front of me dressed in a cheap miniskirt in tiny floral prints. It was a sight to behold. She also had knee-high tight socks on. The mouth of the socks were tightly wedged into her flesh. It was a sight to behold. So, between the end of the skirt and the socks, I saw a generous amount of skin. It was a sight to behold.

Try as I might, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

It was truly a sight to behold.