I definitely belong to an art academy.

NYP is brutally strangling me.

I will definitely pursue design at an art academy.

NYP is.... well, it just isn't that ideal.

But I'm doing okay.

It's just that the situation at NYP isn't exactly what I was expecting. Strangely, I'm a little disappointed.

They do some things that make me go, 'HUH?!' in bewilderment.

Today I had my first presentation in formal attire.

Probably started as a bad day. I was so out of sorts in a shirt and business pants. Plus the weather was so unforgiving. It was hot like anything.

The presentation topic was indeed stupid. "Promote yourself as THE best friend"

And because retro and vintage is the IN thing now, we were using an ancient overhead projector and transparencies for our visual aids. Luckily I was wearing this black shirt with auburn stripes. Totally look the part, quite vintage.

I mean hello?! A visualiser at least right? OHP?!?!

Talking about retro...

Kalis, Hairianto and I were strutting down Orchard Rd. Hairianto sees someone he knows. That someone comes up to Hairianto and says, "...you look so 1960's!!.." or something.

And then for a moment we all had our eyebrows cocked, thinking, "What the hell?!"

How in the world is a brown shirt with thin white stripes and jeans '1960s'??

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A certain tabloid-sized news publication had its headlines slamming Carol Cheong on her evening gown during the Miss Universe pageant, saying "Would you be caught dead in this?"

I thought it was quite nice what.

Anyways, she had this smokey eye make-up that is just so wrong. It looks damned out of place on Asian eyes. Makes her look like panda. A very good example would be a certain Indonesian-Chinese socialite working for the tourism board. She looks odd with the smokey eye thing too.

I don't think I'm destined to get a decent MP3 player. I've got a new one, but it's just a free gift my mother got. And freaking 256MB. I mean, who even talks about MB anymore???

On Sunday, right before I could order my double flavour of Venezia gelato, I received a call.

Caller: Hi, I'm calling from X&X, our company have positions in the sales and marketing dept. The interview is on Monday or Tuesday, at either 2pm or 5pm.

Me: Sorry, but I don't think I'm interested 'cos I already have a job.

Caller: Why don't you just come down and give it a try? I believe our company can provide you with more benefits than your current one. Furthermore, you are one of the shortlisted people. There's only around 50 people for this interview.

Me: Okay then.

Monday afternoon, I was down at their office for the interview.

Business Manager: ...we're dealing with nanotechnology. Have you heard of nanotechnology?...

I knew from then that I will not be interested. But they just went on with an orientation programme! Can you believe it?!

So I remained patient and went through their lecture on human body and human health. I got a way-too-good-to-be-true speech on how the company's calcium ions-energized water can cure cancers and ailments. Got a taste of their calcium ion-energized water.

Preacher: So how's the taste? Fishy?

Me: (winced) Yeah, fishy and metallic.

The preachers (yes, more than one brainwasher around) then whipped out a chart that showed what different tastes means.

Apparently, since their magic potion tastes fishy to me, I have weak liver and kidneys. They can still blatantly tell me that I'm not really that healthy. And for some brainwashed reason, they have 100% faith in their magic potion.

And the science they were lecturing me on became very doubtful on many many counts. They were hydrolysing tap water and their magic potion by running electricity through. Just to prove that the water molecules in their magic potion was smaller. Their fucking magic potion was filled with calcium ions. Of course you can conduct electricity through that!

But I was being very patient and kind. Why spoil the freak show when I can continue listening to their tall tales and silly theories??? It's nice to see people make a fool of themselves and still proud of it.

Back into the manager's office.

Business Manager: -Crash Course on Business and Marketing-

She's 21, still an NTU student. She's the youngest female car achiever in the company. Impressive right?? Not if she was brainwashing you!

She enticed me with money.

Biz Manager: ...you can look at pay range around 4 to 5K. Let's say during exams period, you can still look at income range of at least 1K.

Took out a laminated pay cheque of 5K to show me.

So?

She assured me that I will earn enough to start a business on my own after I finish my studies. She said that I will get to expand my 'contact base', hence opening more doors of opportunities. Because I said that I was more interested in doing design, she told me that 'who knows you might come across people from the media and design industry?'.

And if I don't?

She was very good at downplaying all my ideals.

She told me that 'the design industry is very saturated; how long must you work under somebody to chalk up enough money to start out on your own?'

Luckily I stopped her short by telling her that I'm not in for just the money.

They're looking for money-faced and stupid teens (I'm of neither ilk.), although they claim that they are 'training up a team of young entrepreneurs'.

On one count, the Biz Manager was telling me: Seriously, how much can you earn from a part-time job? 5, 7, 8 dollars an hour??

I went: $3.90! (very matter-of-factly and half-glared at her)

The money-faced bitch was so getting on my nerves. Quite pissed with her, actually.

In the end, they still got rejected by me. Ha! get that in their bloody faces. I stood strong and firm in saying 'No'. Said 'No' to that bitch for at least 4 times.

I'm a tough nut to crack. If money came by so easily, why the hell are people slogging their guts out?

When I bade the long-awaited goodbye to them, they didn't even offer to show me out! So I gave them another chance by asking, "So, anything else??"

And then they just freaking shook their heads...

How professional... Rich but unrefined. BITCHES!!!!!

However, I bet they were cursing their hearts out that I didn't agree to working with them. I probably made them lose some money. Isn't it silly how you can earn money just by introducing someone into the company?

Anyways, to the style department.

I cannot believe I witnessed ah bengs wannabes clad in neatly pressed French cuff shirts with dashing cufflinks and well-fitted business pants accompanied by matching belt and shoes!!!

What the freaking hell?!?!

These yuppie cum ah bengs wannabes work at that company!! Gives me more reason to decline the generous job offer.

These wannabes really DO earn that much to be able to afford such clothes. Too bad they don't spend on proper grooming. They look exceptionally classy from neck to toe. That leaves out anything from the neck up, which refers to the hideous looks and horrendous hair.

If you're sizing one of these wannabes up, you'd probably want to start from his toes and up, stopping short at his collar. But if you really really really have to satisfy your curiosity, fine, you can go ahead and size up the head too.

You'd probably be wheeled into Accident & Emergency foaming at the mouth.

And don't say I didn't warn you.

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Today, I was walking towards Yio Chu Kang MRT station and there's this huge girl in front of me dressed in a cheap miniskirt in tiny floral prints. It was a sight to behold. She also had knee-high tight socks on. The mouth of the socks were tightly wedged into her flesh. It was a sight to behold. So, between the end of the skirt and the socks, I saw a generous amount of skin. It was a sight to behold.

Try as I might, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

It was truly a sight to behold.

I know, it's been nearly 4 weeks.

That's how long I haven't been blogging. That's still pretty acceptable.

But you know what? That's how long I haven't been ONLINE too.

I don't know how it happened, but I just sudden;y got really really turned off by computers and the Internet.

So I just totally withdrew from touching any of these dreadful machines.

And now I'm back.

A week ago, I went book shopping.

Yes, books. Me and books. Very strange, right? But most definitely true.

My affinity with books became apparent when I decided to abandon the machine.

I like my books to have exciting visuals. I love instruction books. I love graphic books.

Just that novels are not my kinda thing..

Anyways, I spent a whooping sum on three books.

One graphic book, one designer book on vintage denim, and one on Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

I bought my designer book at "Actually...". YES!!! FINALLY!!!

Obviously, it had a designer price tag to it too.

Anyways, I'm so damned ecstatic that I'm now included in Actually...'s exclusive clientele.

Then I was kinda labelled 'brand-whore'. Which is not particularly true but I kinda have to agree that it's true to some extent when I think back.

I get excited when brands are exclusive. I love designer stuff. Designer stuff that are one of a kind.

Therefore, Ed Hardy has lost it's charm. Guess? is not that impressive after all.

But Actually..., that's a whole new different thing.

You should at least check it out, can? It's along Seah Street, opposite of Raffles Hotel Shopping Arcade.

On Monday, I kissed "Best Customer Service" goodbye when I freaking screamed at a customer. This fucking disgusting female yuppie was making a very big fuss. She was very accusing in her tone too. And I wasn't going to be all nice and goody to her. She truly gave me shit and so I gave her shit too.

Before she left the cinema, she even gave me a 3-minute crash course on 'Customer Service 101', but not before telling me, "I'm actually a very nice person."

You bet I wasn't listening to her at all.

The climax of the whole incident:

I was making many sarcastic remarks and publicising my displeasure for the fucking yuppie.

Yuppie looked at me, said, "You say that again?!"

I gave the "I-despise-you" look and rolled my eyes in the meanest way. It was so damned mean that it was beyond your imagination.

Yuppie, all fuming, asked, "What's your name?!?!"

I stood up, hollered my name, shoved my name tag out, and arrogantly spelt out my name.

Yuppie was so mad, she walked off saying, "I know how to spell very well, thank you very much. I don't need a spelling lesson."

Throughout, I was seething with anger, though.

But I'm glad I stood up to her. She was probably making false claims right from the start anyway.

For me to go ballistic takes a damned lot of shit. Therefore, you can safely conclude that the fucking Yuppie was brimming with shit.