If you think all's well again, think again.

As usual, school's looking bleak to me. Last night, I had a nervous break down. I felt so lost, so desperate.

I don't understand why I'm even doing some of my assignments. Digital colouring is defnitely my death acu-point. In fact, most things digital scare the hell outta me. I deem myself to be pretty screwed up at school.

I'm made to colour and colour and colour DIGITALLY. Not as if I'm particularly talented in this aspect. I feel so bad for myself sometimes. I don't even know how to use Photoshop for goodness' sake!

However, a lecturer had said that not knowing your tools well is still fine as long as your design skills are strong. It was indeed something comforting to hear.

But still!! For other modules, they're all bent on making me use Photoshop.

And this lecturer named Gwen still had the fucking audacity to say, "You dunno Photoshop, you go find out yourself," during a project briefing.

So I think, "Then why the hell do I bother enrolling myself in an institution? I can always 'find out for myself'!"

I'm so pissed that I'm growing more desperate each day.

Instead of exams, there is a studio project which will more of less decide my fate after this semester. Happens over the next 3 weeks.

However, I, clairvoyant or something, can kinda foretell my fate. Okay lah, seriously, it doesn't take a clairvoyant to tell my fate. Because stated in the project guidelines, "The final artwork is an A3 DIGITALLY illustrated and coloured piece."

So what do you think will happen to me?

And you thought fortune-telling wasn't your thing?!

I'm just un-motivated, un-inspired and un-involved.

Despite all the circumstances, I find time to cultivate my interest.

DUH! I buy shoes and paint on them lah!

Graphic books are damned inspiring. But I have to say that this time round, my design is kinda adapted, but I still made it original in the end.

The best thing is, this new pair of shoes features my best pals, Kalis and Hairianto. Maybe not 100% resemblance, but it's important that you know that I tried my best.