Me, Myself and Dress Pants

I'm really looking forward to working come Monday. I really REALLY need the money coming in for myself. Talking about work, they require me to be donned in a black polo tee, black dress pants and black dress shoes.

Yes, I love black, but I don't think I love it so much that I'd dress myself in FULL black. I do not have a black polo tee and I do not, for nuts, own black dress pants. All right, to be fair, I do own those items; just that the polo tee's really worn out and the dress pants are hideous.

Dress pants are unquestionably inconsistent with my style. I've learnt that the one thing I should NOT wear is dress pants. But in this case, I don't think I have a choice, do I?

Dress pants sit on the waist and I NEVER wear pants on my waist. Frankly, I only do wear jeans and shorts. And they all sit on the hips, not the waist. Anything that sits on my waist makes me look bad. I'm more of a short-torso-long-legs body proportion(so to balance it out, create the illusion of longer torso by visually creating a lower waistline, therefore pants worn lower down the body on the hips, yeah?), so I found myself in a conundrum when I realised that I HAD TO wear dress pants.

I'm prone to deluding myself, so it is my belief that dress pants are gaudy because they're straight-legged and loose-fitting. I've gone skinny and I am bent on not going back to the straight legs. Fitted, fitted, fitted! ALWAYS wear fitted clothes, I tell myself.

So today, I went in search for slim-fit dress pants. Thank goodness they made dress pants slim. I hate for my legs to have to 'swim' in the pants. And I especially hate when the excess leg room fabric flops around.

I went to G2000 and immediately froze up in shock. Executive wear scares the shit out of me! It's the one thing that I will refrain from wearing as much as possible. [That's why art school is a fabulous idea. I wear what I want, what I like, how I like. And I simply dress sharper for presentations. You know how polytechnics require students to be in 'formal attire', which is essentially dress shirt, dress pants(O, M, G, I HATE THE DRESS PANT!) and dress shoes for presentations? *shudders*]

All right, so I hastily left G2000 and went into Topman. I remembered seeing slim-fit dress pants on the racks a looooooooong time ago. Since it was ancient, almost dead stock, the salesguy recommended I try the bootcut pants instead. I gasped out loud, exclaiming that I cannot even stand wearing straight-leg, much less bootcut! But I decided to have some fun and went to try the bootcut dress pants. OH MOMMY, THEY GAUDIER!

Personally, I don't patronise the Topshop chains, but I have to say that the salesguy at Suntec was the most approachable and most helpful of them lot. Most of the sales staff have some kinda of queer, repellant aura that turns me off.

Eventually, I ended up at Domanchi. It's really just these few places to get decent dress pants, you know. I feel like I've become too concise in my shopping. Maybe Singapore's just getting smaller. I've become rather site-specific as well. Like if I'm at Bugis Street, I'm really only looking for shades. If I'm at Far East Plaza, I'm really just thinking of getting bandanas or some other shits from Lips Enterprise, and of course my favourite American Apparel tees...

Domanchi stocked slim-fit dress pants, much to my delight. But I was served my a Chinese lady, so I basically had to uncomfortably flick-switch to speaking Mandarin. I get nervous when speaking to a native Chinese tongue since I'll become conscious about speaking good Mandarin. I don't have problems speaking Mandarin, but when I get nervous, I fumble for words.

Apparently, slim-fit dress pants are becoming ancient stock. I had to settle for something slightly smaller than I would be comfortable with. It was irritating how the saleslady insisted that I try the normal straight-legged pants, when I specifically mentioned that I wanted the slim-legged ones instead.

I couldn't contemplate any further and just got the pants anyhow. I didn't want to stress out over the no-choice-but-to-wear-gaudy-dress-pants situation. I'll make it work somehow...

P.S. The pants I got sits on my WAIST! I'll try to embrace the change, after years of having pants on the hips.

P.P.S. It's amazing how much I can rant about dress pants, eh?

P.P.P.S. Dress pants are NOT gaudy. Dress pants are gaudy only when they're ON MY BODY.