Let's Whoop And Cheer And Make Noise

My 24-year-old ass-for-a-bro, I repeat, TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR-FUCKING-YEAR-OLD brother(why we're blood-related is beneath me) needs to grow up, pronto.

First of all, he fucking bastard me for smoking. It was one fine Sunday morning when I let my guard down and he happened to be there at the right time to catch me smoking.

He stared at me in the eye. May I remind you, I don't talk to him, I don't look at him, I don't bother about him. Basically, I just cannot give two hoots about him. Talk about brotherly love! LOL.

So first he stared, then he started grinning slyly. And then, O M F G, the asshole started whooping and clapping! He immediately proceeded to call my mother on the phone.

I have to say, there's nothing like news for busting someone to bring two cold war parties together! My brother and mother were kinda in the middle of their usual cold war, and suddenly they're talking?!

For a fact, I know my brother smokes too. I've personally witnessed him smoking in public and what do I do? Do I go squealing to my mommy? No, I don't. Do I clap my hands in glee and whoop like a monkey? No, I don't.

Today, the asshole mopped the floor. I was in the room sleeping, recuperating from last night's partying. All I have to say is, thank goodness I was done resting when he mopped the room floor, because he made such a din! Yeah, I know, right? Since when is mopping the floor a noisy affair?

There is a drawer bed underneath me, and the mattress on the drawer makes funny noises. There's something cranky with the spring coils, so when you move on the mattress, the coils make squeaky, snappy sounds.

The fucking asshole enjoyed mopping under the bed the most 'cause that's where he gets to make most noise. He pulled out the drawer bed, sat cross-legged on it, and being the circus monkey that he is, starts humping the mattress(!!), in effort to make as much noise as possible.

He plunged the mop under the bed, deliberately knocking the handle of the mop against the bed frame. So he went, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock...

And when he was done, he haphazardly pushes the drawer bed in, bumping it hard on the bed frame many times. That of course, sent shock waves to me, who was unfortunately sleeping on the bed.

And the whole time, the ghastly fluorescent light was on! The one thing I can't stand most is when I have light in my eyes when I sleep.

After all his circus monkey tricks, I woke up and went to the kitchen for some dinner. I felt incredibly bored. It wasn't a good circus show at all.

That monkey needs a great deal of growing up. And I think I've said that 2 years ago too.