The grass is greener on the other side? Well, used to be!

I now find myself standing on the greener pastures. The ground beneath me smells as fresh as bread hot from the oven. And I'm lovin' it!

I don't know why I didn't use to notice the green grass I was treading on. Guess I was really too focused on what I lacked. So now I have started a wonderful journey on flowing positive energy, so me and my Inner Self will finally be able to join as one to create miracles.

I've a long list of Wants and going through that list every day makes me the happiest person alive. I will see myself owning everything on the list and gollly, that's like the most wonderous feeling. Sometimes,there's this churning sensation in the tummy, kinda like going down a steep track on a rollercoaster.

And I've been smiling much much more. Smiles that generate from genuine happy thoughts. I'm just so happy that nothing else matters.

Excuse me, your LIFE is waiting by Lynn Grabhorn

That's the title of my new read. Talks all about the flow of positive energy, which in other words, means making your feelings work for you. And it's not the usual preaching on optimism. In fact, it's much more than optimism. It focuses a lot on positivity. And that gave me a whole new perspective on optimism itself.

And the great thing about self-help books is that they talk to you, and sometimes you wanna talk to them too. You laugh with (sometimes at) them. It's all about you, you and you, instead of some Nora, Ricky or Lenny that you don't even know.

So you think you see what you see when you look up into the sky. Well, at first, you just see blue, you see clouds, blah blah blah, the usual stuff. That's why I say this book is great. After reading it, the sky appears different. Not weird different, but pleasant different. It's all kinda subtle, but you can definitely feel the change in things.

Just like a few days back when I was having yet another exam paper. For the last 20 minutes or so, I felt I had enough work for the day, so I just stopped. And I'm really glad I got a window seat in the classroom. So for that 20 minutes or so, I was looking at clouds, and I felt so happy. It's a kind of buzzing that's really positive, the kind of fuzzy and warm sensation that you feel coming, strongly or subtly, from within, then spreads all over and you just feel that life is worth so much more.

Indeed, it is. Life is worth aplenty. I've learnt that there is no use fretting and worrying and trying to make things work out. Cos you're all tensed up and flowing all the negative energies. And according to Lynn Grabhorn, flowing negative energies attracts any other thing that's on the same frequency, meaning, more unfortunate events. So now, I feel like I should take a back seat, enjoy and appreciate every thing, big or little, and maintain that buzz within me.

Pull On the Reins!

I figured it's time to pull on the reins. Pull real hard, that is.

I realised that I haven't been steering the navigation. Now it's like everything's spiralling out of control. I intend to gain that control back. I'm gonna fight for it till the end. But that'll take a lot, because the biggest obstacle lies ahead. Yes, the "P" word.

It's a habit, and you know how difficult it is to kick bad habits. But calling for an attitude overhaul is definitely crazy. So it's best to gnaw away at things bit by bit.

I've made up my mind to work harder next semester. Meaning I'm staying put in Biotech. Pretty sad, but if I can channel all that frustration into positive energy that'll benefit my projects and report, why not?

I need to become more organised and manage my time better. I've set some goals already, and I shall re-evaluate them regularly, making sure that my life is on the right track. It's a must that I become goal-oriented.

And today, first on my agenda was: "Fail exam."

It gives me great joy to cancel it out on my agenda. I have done well in not doing well.

Riiiight, whatever.

Yesterday, while I flipped open the notes to attempt studying, I sorta hit my head hard on the ground, metaphorically speaking. I dawned on the fact that I was as trashy as the contents in my notes. I asked myself, "What the hell have I been doing?!"

So I made up my mind that I shall re-take that module next semester. It's the same exam module that I failed today. Because I could only leave 40 minutes after commencement, I decided to attempt some questions. And because I didn't wanna appear apathetic, I stayed on for one full hour before I left the examination hall, erm, room actually.

So next semester is gonna be a brand new beginning that I'lllook forward to eagerly.

And there's plenty of planning and goals to achieve for the time to come.

And so my first exam paper is over! My first exam experience in Singapore Polytechnic.

The coolest thing about it was probably because the paper was in the evening. Like 6 to 8.10 pm.

So you can leave if you have finished the paper, provided it's at least 40 minutes into the duration. Some people left early, but my class stayed on till the 2 hours was up. After the invigilator said "Time's up, pens down," he went around to collect the scripts.

I was thinking, "Did he have to? Can't we all just hand in the scripts ourselves and get the hell outta there?"

After he finished collecting, we were just waiting for something to happen. Then I thought, "Hey, we can go,"

So I stood up. Then the invigilator said, "Please remain seated."

"What the hell?" But I just laughed it off anyway, cos I was the only one who stood up.

So 20 to 30 seconds after I sat down, "All right, you may leave,"

What's all these crap about?

----------------------

Surprising but true, I have taken up reading. But I'm reading books on self-help and self-improvement. It's fantastic. My first read is "The Only Clutter Control Book You'll Ever Need: Fast, Easy Ways to Clean Up the Mess and Conquer the Chaos" by Andrea Mattei.

Cos my house is a dump!

And the strangest thing about the book is that it touches on mental clutter too. It says that to clear clutter, you first have to clear your mind and that organisation and planning is very important. It even talks about proper attitudes to adopt. Then I came across a section that was real, real, cool.

Says,

"Psychologists determine whether people have optimistic or pessimistic characters based on their explanatory style when describing an unfortunate event. The explanatory style has three parts:

1. The internal/external explanation: Optimists tend to believe that external factors causes misfortune; pessimists tend to blame themselves (the internal factor).
2. The stable/unstable explanation: Optimists tend to see misfortune as unstable or temporary; pessimists tend to see misfortunes as stable or permanent.
3. The global/specific explanation: Optimists tend to see problems as specific to a situation; pessimists tend to see problems as global---that is, unavoidable and pervasive."

Hmm, pretty interesting eh? And the best part is the part on the "P" word. What "P" word? That "P" word.

Says,
"Procrastinators are highly-skilled individuals, and most clutter bugs are no exception. ... Procrastination requires the ability to create convincing excuses---convincing enough to persuade not only others but yourself as well. A procrastinating pack rat concosts all sorts of creative reasons... If this sounds like you, give yourself a pat on the back for being so creative, then pour all that creativity into actually accomplishing something."

My gosh! When I read that, I was like, "Spot on, man! What the hell?! It's frickin' true!"

Depression and Other Problems

Studying makes me depressed. That's why I always change my venue of study, which usually leads to no where. In fact, my destination has always been a mystery. Well, the beach is a really good place to end up in.

Speech Problem

Few months back, someone actually pointed out a speech problem that I actually have. It's actually not a big problem, but it's still one nonetheless.

Actually, I don't actually see what is wrong with my speech. I actually find it perfectly all right. It was actually to appease the person's big mouth that I actually admitted it.

I think we actually have many subtle habits that people actually observe. The worse thing is, you don't actually realise it until someone actually comes up to you and tell it to your face.

I hope I can actually pin-point my actual speech problem. When I actually do, I'll to try my best to get rid of it, actually. But if it actually turns out to be a habit, then I'm afraid that I have to actually give it my all. And actually, that may not necessarily curb my speech deficiency.

We actually do things unconsciously and observers actually find some of these things getting on their nerves. I'm actually still pretty confused over what exactly my problem actually is. I really hope that some kind soul will actually enlighten me on the problem.

ACTUALLY.

Editor's note: I was hysterical after posting this. (Hysterical laughter)

Time to Spare

On Saturday, I was studying. Yes, for once, I was actually studying.

I was at Starbucks in Simei Eastpoint Mall. I barely made it through one chapter on the human respiratory system. After that, I was more into staring into space and slacking.

So I'd decided to wander the streets. From Simei, I took a train ride to Bedok. From Bedok, I took a Bus ride to Pasir Ris. Then I walked to Pasir Ris Park and strolled by the beach. Relaxed on one of the benches while I looked on out at the sea. Can you hear the sea breeze? Can you hear the waves crash?

I've got time, lots and lots of time.

My Outrageous Wish List 2

1. Spray someone with a fire extinguisher.
2. Become a lawyer.
3. Shop at Tangs and Paragon.
4. Turn bald.
5. Run my own shop selling clothes AND gelato ice-cream.
6. Experience natural disasters, preferably earthquakes and tornadoes.
7. Pole-dance in MRT.
8. Enter showbiz OR Become a superhero.
9. Pick up Spanish, Latin and French.
10. Complete 72 hours movie marathon OR Sit alone in a cafe and talk to imaginary friend.

My Outrageous Wish List

1. Hot pink hair with black highlights.
2. Curse and swear and lecturers.
3. Flung all my examination papers.
4. Ride on world's highest rollercoaster.
5. 100 pairs of shoes.
6. 50 caps.
7. Bum around and score straight A's for examination papers.
8. Sit with only person at far back of a bus and smile suggestively at him/her.
9. Get my own penthouse just the way I like it.
10. Die peacefully in sleep.

BLEAHHHhhh...

The Nerd Evolution mechanism is faulty. In fact, I think it never existed.

So try as I might yesterday, I still couldn't get myself to study faithfully. I only managed to cover like under 1% of all that had to be covered. It's pathetic.

And later, I've a remedial class to attend, blah, blah, blah...

All these shit is making me sick. I'd love for some ice-cream now.

The more I listen to Frankie J, the more I like his voice. Plus the songs from his 'The One' album are so nice!

So I had his CD playing while I struggled to studied. And I ended up focussing more on his songs than A&P. Revision sucks! And it don't just suck, it sucks big time! It's infuriating!

Man, I'm ill-disciplined. That's why I think I'm the perfect applicant for the 'Bummer' position available. I mean, I have all that it takes to face the challenges ahead. I'm a bummer, bummer, bummer, and I love it!

Damn, I hope I can bring my ass down to mug as hard as I can. Guess I'll just take it that I'm taking a break from being a bummer. Hopefully it works.

Bum around, bum around, bum, bum, bumming around...

"Please revise chapters 3, 4, 7, ... before you come for the lesson"

So says my Anatomy & Physiology (A&P) Lecturer. So the thing is, I got chosen for a special class that she'll be holding. And it's call a remedial class.

How great and exciting. So I haven't been slogging my guts out for her module, and seems like it's time I did. Cos the exam is in a week's time. And the frickin' exam schedule chose to have this paper as the first one. DUMB...

I think I have to begin studying like a nerd, be some hardworking, studious student. Oh wells, oh well, oh well...
This whole exam thing is frickingly lame. I hate like crazy. Wish I could bash its ugly face up. Like relly bash it up real good, get everything all mashed up and stuff.

Okay, so some say it's not all bad. And the good news is, it's really not all bad! Look, I get special attention when others don't. So beat that. After this entry, I'll be heading home to study A&P. Maybe I'll decide to prove to myself that I can score real good for the module. And it's all about proving to myself and not others.

Guess I indeed slacked too much. Now I'm guilty. I should've slacked more few weeks back. Cos all the midnight oil oughta be burnt only in the week that's to come. I so regret it. (Sobs)

Yeah, whatever.

Nerd Evolution, Go!

"Get Off My Nerve!"

I think it's really funny to annoy people. Got my inspiration from eBaum's World again.

I'd really love to annoy people, get on their nerves, make their blood boil, etc. And since we're in Singapore, annoying people becomes so much easier!

And those Truth or Dare games, truths are boring and sometimes harsh, while dares are the most interesting. Of course, we shouldn't limit to dares to within the place the game is played. Think along the line of daring participants to annoy strangers. In the MRTis a good place to start. There are endless possibilities of what you can do to piss people off.

I had been observing people's footwear and commenting on them in my head. Then today, I saw a pair or CROCS on someone's feet! That's like the first time I've seen people wearing them.

Annoying people via blogging is pretty cool too. And it's the limit, cos you're so annoyed that you feel like slapping the person, but all you can manage is to thrash the monitor. I got so annoyed reading some people's blog entries. Some people think they're so proficient in poetry writing that they decided to post some lame-ass 'poems' that they've written. Well, to be more positive, that's a pretty good start on the road to literary success. Maybe some shitty publisher will find that the 'poems' are really great and decides to publish them in "The Book Of Lame-Ass Poems".

Okay, I'm annoyed.

More annoying thing is, I've been wasting money renting DVDs from VideoEzy. Because the cool thing about the school library is, DVDs are up for loan, and it's free. Well, maybe not free, cos I believed I payed for the service in advance through the school fees.

All right, I'm off to waste time. And if you have time to spare and would like to waste it, play with Interactive Buddy over at eBaum's World. Just one piece of advice: Exercise your creativity!

To play with Interactive Buddy: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/interactivebuddy.html

Hey, two posts for the day! Make this the third! I'm so cool!

Getting In Shape


I've an Instructor Course starting in October, and it's a really good time for me to start getting in shape. My physical fitness level is like way way down and under. It's quite a shame, really. Of course, I don't strive to be like that Superman figurine up there, I just wanna be fit.

I think it's really important to be health-conscious. And there's a difference between being health-conscious and figure-conscious. I'd rather choose to be healthy, even if I don't have the to-die-for body. That means I gotta have a great diet and exercise routine, together with a fun lifestyle.

Sometimes on the streets, you'll see some people who have like bodies that make you go "Whoa!" and make you think "I gotta get that!". That's fine, I mean, it's really okay to be envious. And then comes the scary part; you see then sucking at a cigarette! Now that's really like "Whoa!". There's this saying that people who smoke are not smokers, but rather suckers, cos they suck on weed. But then, I think they are smokers, cos after that, they will smoke. As in you see smoke coming out of their nostrils and mouth. So beat that!

But what I really wanna see, is smoke coming out from their ears. That's real funny. Okay, I'm digressing. So back to the point.

And the point was? Sorry, I forgot.

Ooh, now I remember.

Smoking rots your insides. So you have a great body. But that's just the exterior. I cannot wait to get a field trip of the insides. Then, we'll see who has the last laugh. Oh, that'll be the non-smokers.

Okay, I think I'll shut up. Too much said. It kinda gets more and more insensitive cos I have friends who smoke too.

Oh yes, I have a friend who smokes, but it's kinda like secret. But believe me, we aren't on terms so close that he'll tell me his secret. It's about being observant when I'm around him. A big role played by the nose mainly.

No Video Input

It didn't just happen once, but happened twice! I am so fed up with the computers in school! So there I was, just typing away at my blog entry when the screen just blanked out and those three friggin' words appear. Then I gotta wait for everything to load back up and stuff.

Then there's always the error message too. That happened a moment ago. I was happily typing away when this error message just appeared on the screen. And there was nothing I could've done! It's so SAD!!!

I swear, I could've gathered all the frustrations and dealt them at one go at the monitor.

That's why, I don't really trust technology completely.

I can SMS you details, but there's no guarantee that you will receive it. Just the other time, I sent a really long SMS to my mother's phone, and it didn't get through. I know cos I had my phone and hers side by side. Then I sent an empty one to her shortly after, and she received it.

My lecturers always tell us to check out details online, but I never fail to feel suspicious. It just seems un-confirmed. I feel better hearing things from their mouths instead.

Crowning shame

Friend: "Hey, everytime I see you, you're in a cap."

Me: "Yeah,

"Friend: "You love your cap so much?"

Me: "No, it's cos I hate my hair a lot."

This morning in the shower, while I was shampooing my dry (at least to me) hair, I silently wished some of my hair would fall off, cos it's a total mess up there. Then, I cringed as I pictured myself balding. I'd rather be bald than to be balding. It's completely ugly to have an empty patch at the top of your head. Whereas if you're bald, I really think it's not all that bad. It could be kinda cool too. Think Vin Diesel.

Silence

So I was on my way to school. In the lift, silence was blaring despite having three people in the lift. On the crowded bus, all I heard was silence. Can anyone just talk?! I'd love to talk to some one, but I think they'll just think I'm some mad man set loose. I really wouldn't mind someone talking to me too. Just break the uncomfortable silence!

But I guess that's just how our society is structured. You don't just talk to strangers, though I really don't see anything wrong with that. Since the system is as such, I'll just shut up.

Cos silence is golden.

Wasting Time

I realised that I haven't been maximising my use of time. You see, I spent one hour just travelling to school. For one hour, I can achieve many constructive things, but instead, I stare into space!

I figured that I had to come up with a "Constructive Use of Time" scheme to combat this worrying trend. I could've revised my school work, or read a book. But I couldn't have! Cos that, in the long run, would impair my sight and it's no guarantee that I'll score well for my exams. Plus, scoring well isn't at all my top priority.

Wait, a Brain Wave! I know exactly what to do! I shall daydream!

And when I do get an MP3 player, I'll have the R&B grooves resonating in my head, but that's till then. For now, I shall dream with my eyes open. Better life and all.

Ooh, I'd love mobile blogging too, cos at times, there's something that I really wanna say. But I believe that'll put strain on the finances. So, oh well, scrap that then.

Update on CROCS

Just recently, I've incorporated running into my lifestyle. That's pretty amazing, if you ask. Which also means I've been bringing my CROCS for runs. Just for your imaginative mind, I wear socks when I run in my CROCS. That's ultra dorky. Even my mother said so. But it's not like I mind, cos the time and place that I run, there is little or no people around. So I'm comfortable with looking dorky. The worse part is, I leave house without a cap while my hair's a disaster. Like who cares?

Yesterday, I heard from my classmate that CROCS were on sale at IMM for S$32. Which is a steal! Cos I'm considering getting another pair. My current pair, I realised that I'd got them one size too small. Hmm, then there's the colour issue. I really love the orange, but having two pairs in orange is crazy. I think I shall get another pair that's less AA (attract attention). Like this deep dark green that they have.

Elation

I'm so damned proud of myself. I got my blog a new server, with a new skin, complete with links and a tagboard even! All done over the weekend. Maybe that's not a feat to you, but it is to me.

'Cos you gotta consider the fact that I happen to be an ass at this. I guess I didn't have circumstances working to my advantage.

But still, I managed to get everything up and running. Oh yeah, just for your info, I did everything from a computer in Bedok Community Library. I'm so friggin' elated now. I frankly didn't know I was missing this much fun! I'm ultra glad that I discovered all these pretty shit.

It's really not that hard, maybe 'cos I tried. I guess I have to apply this to school too.

The exams are on in 2 weeks time. I think it's time to start revision. I feel just a teenie-weenie bit lost, but my results for the quizzes are rather all right. So it's all kinda contradictory and confusing.

I don't know, maybe I'll just stay on to do my boring science course.

But for now, I shall bask in the morning sun that seems to be shining ever so brightly...

After Much Time

It's "Hey Yo!" to all out there!

I cannot believe I'm back at Blogger.com.

I guess I just gotta have some faith in myself.

So you see, even a tech-idiot like me can achieve such feat!

So why not you?

Okay, so I got a new skin, and can upload pictures and even link up my friends, but I'm still a complete dumbo at putting up a tagboard.

It's alright, I'll takes things one at a time.

I'm so happy with myself.

And there's plenty of stuff to learn still.

So, hope that I'll return with a bang!