Phone Bill

Nice one! I don't know how it happened, but it did, so deal with it. Isn't that like your dream come true? Well, I live your dream on a monthly basis. Haha! SUCK IT!!!

American Food

I'm having hunger pangs at the moment coupled with the urge to stuff my face with food. And I thought of the jumbo hotdog from Botak Jones; embedded in a heap of cajun fries with a massive dollop of coleslaw on the side.

Billy Bombers is going down because Botak Jones is in town and he's here to stay.

Mother's Encouragement

I got 2 bandanas from Lips Enterprise at Far East Plaza.

1 bandana for S$3. 

2 bandanas for S$6. 

3 bandanas for S$9.

As a consumer, remember you're a budget-conscious kiasu cheap-and-good-is-the-best type of consumer, THAT SIMPLY DOES NOT MAKE SENSE, am I right?

I mean, sure it's logical, 2x3=6 and 3x3=9, but is it fair to you as a cheapskate consumer?! Together with Hairianto, I came up with a more plausible and just pricing scheme:

1 bandana for S$3. 

2 bandanas for S$5. 

3 bandanas for S$8.

My my, don't you find that even more logical? Tsktsk, the people at Lips Enterprise need to know their target consumers better...

Sorry for the motion blur. Can't help it ar; worn out image sensor in a worn out camera.

Anyways, I came home tonight looking like that. Unfortunately for my mother, she came home earlier than I did and had to see my hideous get-up. Okay, just to be fair, what you don't see in the photos is a micro ponytail gracefully fall away from the back of my head, through the space in the cap.

And what better way to end your day out than having your mother encourage you, “恶心咯！装扮到这样！头发还绑到这样！哎哟！恶心咯！”

Translation: “It's disgusting the way you dress up! What's up with the ponytail, anyways?! Puh-lease! It's disgusting!”

And what better way to respond to the aforementioned encouragement than ignoring?!

Singapore Wins Bid To Host 2010 Youth Olympics

Yay! First things first, congratulations to us for winning the bid to host the 2010 Youth Olympic Games! Singapore 2010, Blazing The Trail!

So on the grass patch between The Cathay on Handy Road and the YMCA, we see the two following cardboard cut-outs. Outdoor advertisements for the Singapore 2010 Youth Olympic Games.

Nothing really wrong when you see them individually.

But when you see the full picture...

Please tell me that there's something subliminally wrong with that.

Yeees, A Riddle!

I leave ye with a riddle! I leave ye to ponder!

Check me out!

Drop me a line,

visit my site. 

I pay your bills,

I'm mighty fine. 

Oh! I, too, pay your fines.

I offer extra services. 

I am an AXS machine. 

What am I?

Divorce

If you ever fucking decide to get married, and later on fucking decide to start a family, then you don't ever dare, in the later course of the marriage, fucking decide to get a divorce.

But if divorce is inevitable, then you fucking make sure that it's a peaceful separation. Because after all, remember you fucking have kids?! And while keeping both your interests at heart, don't ever dare fucking forget about how your kids feel because they are tangible flesh and blood that are capable of feeling.

They say that in a divorce, the children are the real victims. I second that, no questions asked.

Imagine a 6-year-old child going through a divorce. Don't you think that everything would be highly confusing for him/her? People say that it's 'better' if the divorce proceeds while the child is young, since the child won't be able to grasp the crux of the matter.

Fuck it, a divorce is never good, much less 'better'. And might one enquire as to what happens when the 6-year-old grows up and develops what one might call a fucking mindset?!

OMG, before it gets highly personal, I'm gonna stop myself.

P.S. In contrast to her hyper-paranoia, I'm über aloof.

Durex Advertisement

Haha! I've got Durex adverts running for this coming week. Nice!

Signboards, Ambiguous Phrases And Redundant Words

Grass for sale! Grass for sale! GRASS FOR SALE!

Love the typeface on the signboard. Very chin-chai-chapalang-whatever kinda cool.

I'd love for some grass at home! Why stick to boring carpets when you can

And then we move on to ambiguous signboards:

Okay, okay, questions: So is it an orchid park or a secondary school? Is it a naval base or a primary school?

It's wondrous how two ambiguous signs are within ten paces of each other.

Because I'm an advocate for good English, I'm gonna throw in something about ambiguous phrases and redundant words. I'm just using one example, but I think it works well enough:

The expression 'discuss about'.

You never ever ever discuss about something. You simply discuss something.

To discuss is to 'talk about'. So if you were to discuss about something, you'd be talking about about something. Why would you wanna talk about about something? Sounds stupid, doesn't it?

Therefore, you either say:

1. Let's discuss our weekend plans with them.

or:

2. Let's talk about our weekend plans with them.

Yay! OMG, don't you feel like your English just improved?

Okay, since we're on this note, I might as well say that 'Bukit Merah Hill' is a fucked up phrase. 

Bukit means hill.

Merah means red.

Bukit Merah means red hill.

Bukit Merah Hill simply translates to Red Hill Hill. Is that not stupid or what?

Friends Are Friends Forever

The Weird Generation

My mother finds it impossible to accept my dress sense. Day in, day out, claiming I'm weird.

Cousin Kex belongs to the Art, Design and Media(ADM) faculty at Nanyang Technological University(NTU). Thank goodness for her because she is, so to quote, 'weird' like me! Yay! You seriously need to have people playing on your team, you know. It sucks to be the only one fighting a battle.

So anyways, because Kex is female, there is more room for experimental fashion. And because it's the art faculty, you can have as much fun as you like dressing as outlandish as possible(think cowboy hat in zebra stripe print). Well, of course, keeping your sense of style in sight at the same time. We appreciate good taste, but it had better come with a keen sense of style.

Over the CNY period, the topic of dressing up 'crazily' for school comes up every now and then, and I definitely remember Kex talking about her experiences. For as much as I remember, Kex definitely talked about the fun factor in dressing up.

And I, forsure(yes, like it or not, it's one word now, bitch), remember my mother turning to me and say, “See, people like that then fun what”. OH MY GOD, I SO CAN'T BELIEVE SHE HAD SAID THAT!

It was sorta implying that I don't have fun dressing up for school. I mean, H-E-L-L-O, who is the one who insists I have weird fashion sense in the first place?

My faux straw hat: WEIRD.

Dark grey coal stripe skinny jeans: WEIRD.

Black trench coat: YOU SIAO OR WHAT?!

And that's as 'weird' as I get, ladies and gentlemen. But for the record, I don't feel weird in any way.

When I'm out with my straw hat, people just look. Sometimes they frown, and sometimes I know they're suppressing one. But do I care? No. I'm 'weird' by all their standards and that's fine with me. But likewise, for every single person that frowns, there's some one who will say, “Cute hat!” or “I like your hat!”. So I'm fucking smug now. Smug. Not weird. Okay?

And the striped skinny! Please, what's so wrong with that? The fact that it clings to the legs(got it, flaunt it) makes it unsuitable for a guy to wear it? There is no sense nor logic in that. Furthermore, it's not like I don't have people complimenting on the jeans, you know.

I'm just gonna skip the trench coat, okay?

So I was telling Kex about how my mother thinks I'm weird and all, and she says, “Then your mother should mix around with us[Kex and brother Hong] so she won't be so mainstream. My brother has countless beanies and 2nd hand T-shirts!”

Yay! That makes 3 fighting for the Weird Generation.

Kex and I carry the same model of Freitag wallet. A couple of days back, Kex's mother, my aunt, saw my wallet and realises that it works identical with Kex's wallet. She says in Hokkien, “这个是用车皮做的是吗？跟啊欣的一样。你们年轻人实在无聊。”

To translate, Kex's mother said, “This is made of truck tarps right? Same as Kex's. You youngsters nowadays are weird," commenting on the fact that the wallet is made from used truck tarps. Okay, you say 'truck tarps' and it sounds glamorous and classy. But if you were to say it in Hokkien, “车皮” pronounced 'chia per', it just sounds like we've got a wallet made out of trash. Oh wait, it is made out of trash...

Trash to trash-ure, I say.

And the thing we all appreciate about 2nd hand/used/abused/vintage/old stuff, our mothers will never get it. They will never never never ever get it. Because we're the Weird Generation.

Just went out shopping a bit today, and was pleasantly surprised that the cowboy boots at Oppt Shop at The Heeren are readily stocked. Going at around S$129 a pair, I'm even more tempted to get one pair myself. I've been wanting the cowboy boots since last year, just never quite got around to getting it. First, I don't have money. Second, I have wide feet. And cowboy boots are narrow. So wish me luck.

Cowboy boots: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!

Weirded out now, see ya!

Penchant For Colour

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I have an addiction for colour.

Loud, intense, bright colours. Today, I got two pairs of bloody-intense-citrus-y-coloured socks! Citrusox even has their own website. Just pardon the bad English on the site, okay... Anyways,

LOVE THY COLOURED FEET!!!

P.S. *update* My mother came home, saw the socks, and got the shock of her life. Apparently, she's damned unhappy about my buying such colourful socks. According to her, the socks I bought are dreadful, and impossible to match with any outfit. She gushed out of the room, holding the socks and hollered, “你买这个做么？要配什么穿？长裤？！短裤？！恶心咯！”

He's A Jerk, So Get Over Him, Okay?

我拍你拍我拍你拍我

Title for this post translates to: I shoot you shooting me shooting you shooting me.

I was holding my camera. Cousin Kex was holding her camera. We were facing each other.

Then I got a brain wave and exclaimed, “喔，我懂我懂！不然我拍你拍我拍你拍我啦！”

What Do I Do?

--ROAD BLOCK--

=(

--ROAD BLOCK--

That's me in the center. What do I do?

Hot In Pink

Come on, you know I look fucking hot in pink. And as much as 'pink is a girly colour', I fucking love pink.

Although I do have to say that I only love intense shades of pink.

So first day of CNY, I got up at 7.30AM. Seven. Thirty. A. M.

It was a very slow day. Spent most of the afternoon playing Blackjack. As I've said, it is customary to gamble during CNY.

While I was bored at home. Indulged in a little narcissism. I've decided that since I didn't have that much money for clothes, there was no use getting inspired to get all dressed up.

Furthermore, if I'd really wanted to dress up, I have any other day of the year to do so. Just that for a long time, CNY was THE occasion to be really dressed up. That's because for the longest time, I was still in school—mainstream government school.

Sheryl and I at our first aunt's place. I kinda waited all morning for other cousins to arrive.

Then of course we gambled.

I think I lost money for this round. That was how bad my luck was... It is becoming apparent that I don't have the luck to win money during CNY.

Shery insisted on cramming into the shot... With a 'artificial and unnatural pose', so to quote.

Hahahaha!... *wink wink*

P.S. The pink tee is hot. The pink tee is hot. The pink tee is hot. The pink tee is hot. THE. PINK. TEE. IS. HOT.

First Day Break-Out

新年快乐！恭喜发财！万事如意！

Fucking hell, I swear, the first day of CNY visiting just ended and I already have small clusters of break-outs. 

And it didn't help that I kept losing at Blackjack. It is customary to gamble during CNY. I didn't keep track, but I probably lost between S$10 to S$20.

Ah-Kong Brigade

The Explosion

I just spent most of yesterday and some of today watching the first season of The L Word(lesbian drama). I just have to say that it's very hot!

Anyways, apart from the cream explosion from watching girl-on-girl action, something else exploded.

Yesterday, I bought 3 cans of Coke Light and to express-chill it, I dumped them into the freezer. And then I took one out, drank it, and completely forgot about the other 2 cans...

Today, did a wee bit of spring cleaning. My mother asked for me to clear out and clean up the refrigerator. And so I did.

I flung the freezer door open and saw the aftermath of the Coke Light explosion. It's kinda weird though. It's as though time stood still because everything was literally frozen. But you know for a fact that there was an explosion!

It's like an explosion frozen in time. Love it! Love it! Love it, even though I have to clear up the mess myself.

I particularly like how the Coke splattered on the freezer wall, then dripped downwards into the pool of Coke.

Company Vs. Companion

I don't believe I have a lack of company. In fact, I have great company. It feels good knowing I'm not all alone in this world.

However, I do believe what I lack is a companion.

One who has similar tastes and interests. One who shares experiences, good and bad. One who complements you. One whom you spend a lot of time with. One. One. One. ONE.

The only thing that comforts me is that a companion does not have to be human.

And I don't think it is easy to find a companion. And I would believe that anyone who finds a true companion is very lucky and blessed.

P.S. To say 'Together, I feel we can conquer the world' takes a lot doesn't it?